First Wednesday Of September Motes

Why I have a job: A contract baggage handler unloading a Frontier flight has died after her hair became stuck in the belt loader. The incident occurred at approximately 10:20 p.m. at Louis Armstrong International Airport in New Orleans when the woman who was employed by GAT Airline Ground Support, which contracts with Frontier, was working to offload an inbound aircraft after it landed when her hair somehow managed to get stuck in the belt loader. GAT CEO Mike Hough confirmed to ABC News in a statement that the female victim was severely injured and subsequently died as a result of the incident. This is what I do, I keep stuff liker this from happening. Maybe someone there wasn’t doing their job.

Battle Bots: Last weeks “Glitch”-v-“Rotator”, parts and flames everywhere. Sheesh.

**Recently I have been called a danger to democracy because I oppose the current regime. I have been called a white supremist based solely on the fact I am white. I have been called a fascist because I don’t trust federal law enforcement. I have been called an extremist because I want my kids and grandkids to be able to read and write and have their own opinions. I have been called a crack-pot conspiracist because I don’t believe recent elections were without fraud. Funny, nobody is calling me what I really am, an American Patriot. **

Priorities: New York Post has footage of an elderly woman being dragged out of a ride share car and reportedly robbed by her driver in Brooklyn. There’s a lot more to this story but something jumped out at me when I was reading it. A younger, good Samaritan witnessed the abuse and realized the man had stolen the woman’s cell phone. “He filmed the altercation between the driver and elderly woman as she screamed, “call the police! He robbed my phone” and then shared the video on Twitter.” W T F ? His first thought is to film, not call 911 or jump in and help. It appears that he did later assist the woman, to the point he also had to be taken to the ER. And yes, I guess the recording will be additional evidence, but I’m more inclined to “save first, film after”.

Not ever: I just read a story about a mother that had just lost her young daughter. There is a recording of the child, made the day before her death, singing to her Mom, ”I love you. You love me.” The child, Ava, had a brain tumor. She fought bravely, but succumbed. “The day before Ava passed, she couldn’t walk, sit up and could barely talk but she still wanted to tell me that she loved me,” the Mother wrote. Then she wrote, “..parents should never plan a funeral, pick a casket, one last outfit, ‘the perfect plot’ spot, or an urn for their child.” Absolutely not. Not ever. My heart goes out to Mom and the entire family.

Didn’t even cross my mind: During the pandemic I looked forward to many things returning. One of them was not a giant street tomato food fight. But evidently the residents of  Buñol, an eastern Spanish town about 25 miles from Valencia, were. Thousands of revelers splattered each other with tomatoes last Wednesday, celebrating the return of Spain’s iconic La Tomatina food fight festival after a two-year lapse due to the coronavirus pandemic. Trucks laden with overripe tomatoes crawled through the narrow streets as local residents on board hurled them at the crowd in an hour-long frenzy, leaving the area drenched in red pulp. Man, I’d love to own the local dry cleaners for this week.

Weekend play list; Lori Morgan, B J Thomas, T. Graham Brown, and Dan Seals. Binged “1883” this weekend. Wow. Can’t be a second season because it wrapped everything up in 10 episodes. Still, what a feakin’ ending. Sam and Tim were good, but Faith was incredible. Wow.

New Motes For The New Week

 That’s gonna work: New York City Mayor Eric Adams is launching a comprehensive outreach plan to educate New Yorkers about the new state gun law going into effect September 1. In addition, the city is creating gun free zones in so called “sensitive” parts of the city, including in Times Square. Signage will be posted along those boundaries and within Times Square saying guns are prohibited in the area. Yeah, Times Square a “gun free zone”. Yep, that’ll stop ‘em alright.

It’s a cultural thing: From tweeter “Eva Vlaardingerbroek@EvaVlaar”: “White South African farmers have been hunted down and slaughtered for years in the most gruesome ways imaginable and the High Court just ruled that the chant “Kill the Boer, Kill the Farmer”, does not classify as hate speech. This ruling will send even more farmers to the grave.” I agree with her. The killing and torture of white farmers has increased to a daily occurrence. And the S.A. government not only does nothing about it, but has, imho, encouraged it. I used to have friends there, some moved to Australia, some didn’t get out.

Time for the adults to take over: Victor Madrigal-Borloz may be the most consequential bureaucrat you’ve never heard of. Madrigal-Borloz is the “SOGI czar” at the United Nations. Or, more precisely, he is the U.N.’s so-called independent expert on protection against violence and discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, or SOGI. And the Costa Rican lawyer just concluded an official visit to the United States intended to “assess” the “human rights of LGBT persons” here. It’s gone beyond time to close the U.N. circus down. It’s not entertaining anymore, and the monkeys have taken over.

Did he know Hilary: The head of a Russian oil giant that criticized President Vladimir Putin and the Ukraine war, died Thursday after reportedly falling out of his hospital window. The company issued a statement early Thursday confirming the death of Maganov, 67, “after a severe illness,” but did not specify the cause. The hospital declined to comment and referred comment to the police, who declined to comment. It appears numerous individuals in opposition to Vlad’s conflict have “fallen” to their death. Just bad luck, I guess. Reminds me of the words of hitman Charles Bronson in the 70’s movie “The Mechanic”; “Falls from high places are very clean.”

Burning’ down the house: Portland, Oregon’s police force has been anemic since the 2020 racial unrest that led to “mostly peaceful” riots, which partly explains why hoodlums are now running amok — even deploying a flamethrower — as they takeover entire streets in The City Of Roses. Hundreds of individuals took over a Portland intersection at Northeast 72nd and Sandy on Sunday evening for 90 minutes. At least one individual had a flamethrower, and three people were shot, with one person killed. I wonder if it was one of these. Available locally, just under $700.00. Hmmm

I missed this one last week: An Irish woman has been crowned the world axe-throwing champion after winning a competition in Canada. Ceola McGowan, from County Sligo, beat competitors from across the world to win the World Double Bit Axe Throwing Championships on Sunday August 28. After her first throw of the axe, Ms McGowan said she was “immediately hooked” and took up the sport competitively just five months later. Pole dancing is another sport that Ms McGowan has done for a number of years that she said has helped her in axe throwing. “The pole-dancing community is actually very similar to the axe-throwing community where you’ve got that love, camaraderie and support.”  Okay, I didn’t know pole dancing was a “sport”, or a “community”. I guess I’m just too old because when I hear “pole dancing” I immediately think “Stripper”. I’m a pig.

Labor Day Memory

Bonehead and Doctor Death

The annual Labor Day run on the Big Island of Hawaii, was one of the events a Vagos M/C member could attend. There were a few events every year and you had to attend at least one. Usually everyone went to the Laughlin River Run or the Las Vegas New Year party because of their locations and access, but a lot of the brothers would fly over to Hawaii for the Labor Day run.

The charters here would lend out their bikes or help make rental arrangements for the mainland guys, there are parties all weekend, and there is a lot of beautiful riding to be done.

Now bikers have a lot of colorful road names and in fact I knew more road names than I did the Christian names. There was Tramp, Grouch, Blackie, Whitey, and one of my favorites, Bonehead.

Now my name, Storyteller, came with a certain expectation of stories at the drop of the hat and I tried the best I could. But with Bonehead and his crew, I outdid myself.

It all started about the fourth day into the five day “weekend”. We were all sitting at Jokers place, watching the fire, swapping stories and mixing liquors, when Bonehead with his wife and crew pulled in and made themselves at home. They had rented two vans, brought extra camping gear with them, and had been driving around the island just relaxing.

After a few beers one of Bonehead’s guys started complaining about where they had camped out the night before. He remarked it was like the kids in the neighborhood were out playing all night. He said they made so much noise he couldn’t sleep.

A sudden flash of devilish inspiration cause me to ask where they had camped. The men hemmed and hawed and finally one of the wives said they were camped at “Lapa something something.”

“Do you mean Laupahoehoe ?” I asked very quietly. The evil filter between brain and tongue  fell away.

“Yeah that’s it,” Bonehead replied. “Those kids kept us up almost all night. But whenever I looked outside I couldn’t see anyone.” I just sat there shaking my head.

By now I had everybody’s attention. I looked over at Joker and he was already starting to shake his head. He didn’t know here  I’d go with this, but he knew it would be good.

Before I go any further, you have to get an image of my audience. Most of these guys could pose for the centerfold of the San Quinten Gazzette. Bonehead  was a tall, shaven head, muscular  man with barely an inch of skin below the neck that wasn’t at least touched by a tattoo. Most of his crew was much the same build and none of them looked like the kind of person you’d want to meet in a dark alley. The kind of men that wouldn’t be afraid of anything.

I continued in a very soft voice,” The reason you couldn’t see them is because they aren’t  there. Not really.” Every eye and ear was on Bonehead and me.

“You see Bonehead, those kids are dead, but they don’t know they’re  dead. They were all killed when the tsunami of 1946 came in and the entire school was washed out to sea.”

Ever seen a tattooed guy turn white? I mean really white. It’s really sort of funny looking. That was Bonehead when he responded; “Oh man, don’t be telling me that shit.”

“Oh yes,” I continued. “The tidal wave came in so fast that people they didn’t have a chance to get to higher ground. There were only a few survivors. If you walk on the beach there is a stone monument with all their names. Those kids you heard were in school when it hit.”

I could see all my charter members grinning and barely hiding their laughter as the big scary bikers became big scared bikers. But it wasn’t over.

“Well”, Bonehead continued. “We ain’t staying there any more so it won’t bother us anymore. Monday we’re flying to Oahu and staying in Waikiki for the week.”

“What kind of stuff you have planned”, I innocently asked.

“Oh man, we’re gonna swim and sun and go paragliding and all that shit.”

“Well, be careful.” The hook was set and the trap was sprung. “Remember to watch the shark warnings on the beach before you go swimming and if you do the paraglide things remember to have them double cinch your harness. Just last week a Japanese tourist didn’t and she fell out of the harness at about 75 feet. It killed her.” Now at this time  Waikiki hadn’t posted a shark warning in the last 10 or more years and I don’t even know if they  can “double cinch” the harness. I was making this up on the fly.

And so it went the rest of the night.  Hang gliding? Guy crashed into the cliff wall and it took three days to get him down. Find a nice hiking trail.? Rockslide at Sacred Falls killed a whole class of  U H students. Deep sea fishing? Jaws.

Every time someone came up with an idea or suggested an activity, I’d be very nice and comment on how much fun that activity was but , and then I’d launch into some kind of  freaky accident that killed or maimed someone doing it. And I would make these “accidents” as freaky and messy as I could, but always with this sad face that said I’d really feel bad if someone in the group got hurt or killed because I didn’t warn them. All bullshit of course.

The night rolled on and I continued the comments and warnings, made up as I went along. I think some brought up things just to see what I’d come up with. I didn’t drop the ball the whole time.

 The next day everyone was breaking camp and getting ready to head home after a really fun filled weekend. As he and his crew rolled up their gear in preparation for leaving Bonehead greeted me with; “Morning Doctor Death”.

We all had a good laugh but like a professional wrestler I never dropped character. I didn’t see them during their week on Oahu, but I’m sure they had fun despite the “dangers”.

A few months later Julie and I and the Hawaii charters were in Las Vegas for the New Year’s Party. I got to tell you, it is something to walk into a Vegas casino and there are five or six hundred men wearing the same club patch as you.

As I was walking across the casino a big voice yelled out, “Hey Doctor Death”, making those three words last about 5 seconds. It was Bonehead, who promptly dragged me to the bar and we started celebrating the New Year. And he would continue telling the story of my stories to anyone and everyone all night long.

I finally asked him; “Bonehead, you know I was making all that shit up?”

“Yeah man, I knew that. But damn you were good and some of that stuff was freaking great.”

And with that we rang in the New Year.

About 2 years later a POS snitch named Hammer set up and rolled on several of the club members. Some of them ended up doing multi year sentences, including Bonehead who had been the charter P. I’m not saying he was an angel, but Bonehead deserved better than that.

Hammer died several years later due to an “accidental” drug overdose. He got what he deserved.

Sunday Rant

Subject: “Expert” advice?

29 Aug 22

 Brush-off “expert advice,” particularly when it is politically motivated (as most of it is)!

 How many times do we hear smug, clueless clowns, paraded before us by liberal media, claiming to be personal security “experts?”

 Examples of their “expert advice:”

 1) Never resist violent criminals! Give them everything they want (presumptively even when they “want” to maim/rape/kidnap/murder your family). Neither you, nor anything that is yours, is worth defending!

 2) You’re too stupid to own a gun! Never own, nor (Heaven-forbid) carry one. Guns are ishy! You’ll probably hurt yourself! Only us hyper-virtuous, heaven-anointed few should be allowed to have them.

 3) At all times, think of yourself as a victim! You can never successfully defend yourself anyway, so don’t even think about trying. You don’t want to hurt one of our precious criminals, now do you? After all, being a “good victim” is your civic duty (according to Democrats)!

 Who adhere to the foregoing “advice” will enjoy a short and unhappy life!

 Understand that media frauds who promulgate this rubbish enjoy the continual protection of a virtual army of heavily-armed (with “weapons of war”) bodyguards.

 They never seem to want to talk about that while they so freely/piously provide the rest of us with the foregoing “security advice.”

/John

Another one is ; “If you fight back you might get hurt”. If you don’t fight back, you will most assuredly be hurt. When you fight back, fight like you’re the third lion in line to the Ark, and it’s starting to rain.

Saturday Story

SOMETIMES “THEY” WIN

I think everyone knows the good guys aren’t always good and they don’t always win. Doesn’t mean the bad guys are any better, but sometimes the bad guys do win.

It was a popular Waikiki night spot. It was popular with the younger crowd and if you mix youth, booze and raging hormones you get fights.

This place didn’t have any more fights than other Waikiki spot; in fact, it had fewer than other clubs. This was sort of an upper college crowd with a little more money to spend. Higher prices usually mean a lower problem establishment.

When there was a fight, it was usually more push and shove than actual fighting. So it was a surprise when the call came out concerning an “affray” in progress, with injuries.

A number of units responded, most all of them experienced no nonsense officers.

Upon arrival the combatants, non-combatants, and the injured were separated and attempts to calm everyone were partially successful. Then the worse of all scenarios happens. One of the fighters snatched a cop’s gun.

Larry was one of those experienced officers. He just got caught by surprise, but he paid the price.

The snatcher backed away as Larry turned and then he fired 2 shots from the duty .38 Smith and Wesson. There were no mandatory concealable-vests back then so Larry took 2 hollow point rounds in the chest.

Apparently stunned by his own actions the shooter didn’t continue firing but the other cops did. The shooter took multiple hits to the chest and also fell dead.

Of course, there was a full court press investigation from that moment on; Inspectors, Deputy Chiefs and the Chief himself evidentially arrived on the scene. Stories were naturally varied, but all agreed that the snatcher fired first. Since Larry’s holster was empty, all the physical evidence matched the base story.

But that was not the end of this event.

Naturally the snatcher’s history showed prior confrontations with police and others. A number of arrests and convictions for small stuff.

Nobody could understand why, but the facts were not in dispute. Except by the family, like usual, who said he was a kind, loving, caring young man that would never do anything like this. The police must have caused it.

Larry’s funeral was planned. Then his family started getting calls, threats, and curses.

The family was cursed at because their son, a dead police officer, had “caused” the death of a “good boy”. They were threatened with more deaths and were even told their house would be burned to the ground.

Calls came day and night and were taken seriously.

I spent the next 3 days, and nights, at the family home. I was in uniform, armed, and I answered the phone. When I answered, they usually hung up.

The funeral service was held without incident or disruption.

After the funeral, the calls tapered off and finally stopped. I went back to patrol. I will admit I didn’t stay in contact, not even sure if I should have.

Several years later I ran into Larry’s sister. We had dinner and she told me how Larry’s parents never recovered from the ordeal. They could never understand how their lives, could be so turned upside down when their son had been “the good guy”.

Eventually they had had enough, and they left the state. There are good guys and then there all those bad guys.

They won this one.

Thursday’s Speech

Last nights “speech’ by “President” Biden was nothing short of a Hitleresque performance. The heavy red lighting, the Marines in the back and the ominous tone and the language used. I feel really sorry they were forced to stand for this insulting tirade. This speech was NOT presidential. This speech was NOT uplifting. This speech was NOT what America should be hearing. I am ashamed and afraid. Do not take this speech as a call to arms. Do not respond and give him what he seems to want and encourage. Stand up, but do not act in violence.

Mriday Fotes, Friday Motes

Probably none: I commented of banks in China using “covid” as an excuse for not opening. Since April, four rural banks in China’s central Henan province have frozen deposits worth millions of dollars, heaping misery on hundreds of thousands of customers in an economy already battered by draconian Covid lockdowns. Police in China have arrested 234 suspects allegedly involved in a rural banking scandal, a month after hundreds of depositors protested over their lost savings in one of the largest demonstrations the country has seen since the pandemic began. Since they were using the government covid indicators to keep people out, I wonder how many .gov officials will be arrested.

Maybe a good read: In a bold move, a Russian paratrooper named Pavel Filatyev shared his journal entries about fighting in the early days of his country’s invasion of Ukraine. “Due to artillery shelling, some villages nearby practically ceased to exist,” the 34-year old wrote in mid-April. “Everyone was getting angrier and angrier. Some grandmother poisoned our pies. Almost everyone got a fungus, someone’s teeth fell out, the skin was peeling off.” Filatyev described scenes of utter chaos and a complete breakdown of order and discipline among Russian troops. Soldiers were reportedly “shooting themselves in the legs to collect the $50,000 promised by the government to injured servicemen.” Once away from the front lines, Filatyev began chronicling his experience in Kherson and Mykolaiv, which ultimately spanned 141 pages. If I can get it, I’ll read it.

You can’t fix stupid: A lion at Ghana’s Accra Zoo mauled an intruder to death after he climbed a fence in an alleged attempt to steal a rare white cub, officials said. At around noon local time on Sunday, security guards on patrol at the zoo noticed that the middle-aged victim had scaled a 20-foot-tall mesh fence and entered the enclosure housing a lion, a lioness and two cubs. “The intruder was attacked and injured by one of the lions,” Ghana’s state Forestry Commission said in a statement, adding that the unnamed man had died from wounds he sustained in the attack. Right up there with “Don’t pet the fluffy cows”, is “Don’t mess with the big kitties”.

About time to wake up: California on Thursday is expected to put into effect its sweeping plan to prohibit the sale of new gasoline-powered cars by 2035. Which most non-calipornian’s say is crazy. The crazier thing is this will apply to Virginia as well. This is because when Democrats held majorities in Virginia, they passed a law that would require Virginia to have the same automobile standards as those adopted by the California Air Resources Board. When Democrats lost their majority, the GOP failed to repeal the legislation. Yessir, it’s about time for Virginian’s to WAKE UP.

Gas 8/30/22

Gas 4/4/21

What are you paying?

In Hilo for the long weekend. Stay safe and enjoy the extra story.

Motes For A Thursday Capitulation

Relax Alec : Over the past couple of months, California lawmakers have approved nearly a dozen gun control measures aimed at legal gun owners or the firearms industry.  At the same time, however, the Democrats in control in Sacramento have failed to pass any legislation imposing safety regulations or requirements when it comes to firearms and the entertainment industry. In essence, California Democrats allowed the entertainment industry to write its own law governing on-set safety protocols, and when the various factions couldn’t come to terms lawmakers simply threw up their hands and said they’ll try again next year.

Be very aware: The” knockout game” is back. Numerous cities are scenes of elderly, mostly white, citizens walking down the street being suddenly and viciously struck by some thug wantabe. Let’s start calling it what it really is, a “coward punch”. It doesn’t take much of a man, or woman, to blindside punch someone who hasn’t presented you with any provocation or reason. It only takes being a coward. Didn’t hear that? YOU ARE A COWARD!!

Two tier system? Think about this: Jussie Smollett is a free man. Alec Baldwin is a free man. Hunter Biden is a free man. Michael Byrd is a free man. A Grandmother who took selfies at the CD.C. Capitol has been in jail for over 7 months.

Potato, potato: It has been corroborated in new reports that Timothy Thibault was out at the FBI and was escorted from the premises but, citing U.S. officials, added that he “had reached retirement age” and “all of those who retire hand over their badge and gun and are escorted out of the building.” Thibault has been accused of being responsible for burying the Hunter laptop. It appears the reports have been updated and now state that Thibault “abruptly resigned” but that he was “forced to leave his post” and cites two unnamed former FBI officials. To my knowledge, when you “retire”, you’re usually not “escorted” out of the building. That happens when you’re fired.

Just wow: Watched the finale of “Animal Kingdom” last night. Wow, what a wrap up. I was not ready for the level of betrayal that occurred. One of my prized photo’s is a signed “Ellen Barkin” in her character of “Smurf”.  Met her at a local watering hole and shared some conversation. Almost a month later I received the picture in the mail. What a lady. What a finale. Great show.

Nothing suspicious here: Did you know Nikole Flax has been named to lead the IRS “Centralized Office”. Flax was previously Chief of Staff to the senior IRS chief. Her hard drive “crashed” during the 2014 investigation of the IRS targeting conservative groups, there was no backup, so ALL the e-mails were lost.

Motes On A Stingy Wednesday

Another place to watch:  A U.S. Coast Guard cutter conducting patrols on an international mission in the Pacific Ocean was denied entry to a port in the Solomon Islands. The cutter Oliver Henry was taking part in Operation Island Chief monitoring fishing activities in the Pacific, which ended Friday, when it sought to make a scheduled stop at Guadalcanal, Solomon Islands, to refuel and re-provision. It has also been reported that a British vessel was also denied entry, but the British Royal Navy has not commented directly on those reports. China has been assertively trying to expand its presence and influence in the Pacific, and Solomon Islands Prime Minister Manasseh Sogavare alarmed some neighbors, the U.S. and others after he signed a new security pact with China. Guadalcanal, Solomon Islands? Seems to me we’ve already paid the “port fee” for that place in ’42 and ’43.

Any excuse will do a tyrant: Colorado’s Secretary of State Jena Griswold is a very serious woman — except when she gets unhinged. And Griswold was in a full-on, hair-on-fire, bat-guano-nuts panic when she said in an interview with the radical left newspaper The Guardian that unless Americans vote for Democrats, they’re going to lose their democracy. Griswold was only echoing — or parroting — the company line that Democrats have been peddling for months: our democracy is in trouble because Republicans are mean, spiteful, gay-hating, trans-oppressing, anti-female fascists. The terrifying thought is that she isn’t just mouthing those words. Griswold thinks she’s on a mission from God to save democracy. People on savior missions can justify any action they take because anything is better than allowing Republicans to win. Seems like the old “…we had to destroy the village to save it” thought process.

You can’t prove you’re innocent, unless you have a trial: An estimated six hundred men and women have been apprehended by the Federal Bureau of Investigations for protesting the stolen election on Capitol Hill on January 6. Most of the January 6 defendants are being denied due process, held without bail, have yet to be convicted of a crime and languish in solitary confinement on misdemeanor charges as they lose their livelihoods waiting month after month for a crooked judge and jury in Washington DC to begin to adjudicate their case. Some, never stepped foot in the Capitol building, but face sedition charges and 20-plus year prison sentences as prosecutors charge them with devising the “insurrection.” Three of the January 6 defendants have killed themselves. Inmates who are doing time in the DC jail for actually breaking the law are afforded basic rights like visitation, while J6 defendants last saw their families when the FBI raided their homes. It doesn’t appear that any trial dates have been set. Have they been judged guilty, before a trial? So, it would appear.

A new level of city stupid: The City of Miami is hosting a gun buyback program Saturday and donating the weapons to Ukraine’s defense. The city is offering Visa gift cards of $150 for .223 caliber firearms, AR-15s and AK-47s; $100 for shotguns and rifles and $50 for other weapons, according to the website. The program is “no questions asked” and doesn’t require donors to show ID. This is just stupid. Period.

Former star leaving: Ozzy Osbourne has reportedly had it with the U.S., according to a recent interview. The heavy metal star revealed his family’s reasoning behind their return to England — mass shootings. “Everything’s fucking ridiculous there. I’m fed up with people getting killed every day,” Osbourne said. The former reality TV star says the move back to his home country isn’t about his health. Instead, he’s worried about his own safety in the U.S. (Deep sardonic “Curley Bill” voice) Well, Bye.

Every night she comes to me

In a golden whiskey memory

Just For Fun

From the madmedic: Great news! Some of the old favourite singers and bands have re-released

their greatest hits with new titles and lyrics to accommodate their ageing audience.

Some examples:

Herman’s Hermits: “Mrs. Brown You’ve Got a Lovely Walker”

The Rolling Stones: “You Can’t Always Pee When You Want”

Credence Clearwater Revival: “Bad Prune Rising”

Marvin Gaye: “I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts”

The Who: “Talkin’ ‘Bout My Medication”

The Troggs: “Bald Thing”

Carly Simon: “You’re So Varicose Vein”

The Bee Gees: “How Can You Mend a Broken Hip”

Roberta Flack: “The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face”

Johnny Nash: “I Can’t See Clearly Now”

The Temptations: “Papa Got a Kidney Stone”

ABBA: “Denture Queen”

Leo Sayer: “You Make Me Feel Like Napping”

Commodores: “Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom”

Procol Harem: “A Whiter Shade of Hair”