Tuesday Motes,

All the luck:  Italian police scooped up two tons of cocaine, wrapped in protective plastic and bobbing in the sea off eastern Sicily, authorities said Monday. The financial police squad estimated that the recent “catch” would have fetched about 400 million euros (nearly $450 million) in street sales. The packages of cocaine were strung together with netting, police said in a statement. There was just enough plastic wrapping to keep the cocaine from getting wet without weighing it down and possibly sinking it.  I couldn’t find a 8-ball if my life depended upon it. (If I still did that sort of thing, which I don’t.)

Determined: Couple decapitate themselves at the same time using home-made guillotine with their heads then rolling into a fire in ritualistic sacrifice in India Hemubhai Makwana, 38, and his wife Hansaben, 35, ‘severed’ their heads with a ‘guillotine-like mechanism’ into a ‘fire altar’ for a ritual sacrifice in Vinchhiya, Gujarat, India, yesterday. This is togetherness carried  BIT TOO BAR.

Security failure: A former lawmaker and his brother were shot to death on live television while under police escort in the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh. Atiq Ahmad, a former Indian lawmaker convicted of kidnapping and facing murder and assault charges, was killed Saturday along with his brother after three men posing as journalists approached and shot them, Indian authorities announced. After the attack, the suspects surrendered to police. Appears the shooters were under no scrutiny, not under observation, and calmly moved through the crowd until the time was right. They engaged their targets and no other parties were injured. Sounds pretty well practiced.

Tax money at work: Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Hitler) is calling on the Justice Department to save the movie Batgirl. Earlier this month, in a letter to Attorney General Merrick Garland, Warren and four other Democrat lawmakers urged the Justice Department to save projects like Batgirl and CNN+. Now just what the hell does the DoJ have to do with a private enterprise like Warner Bros. if it isn’t violating the law? Oh, that’s right, NOTHING. And senator Warren is wasting the time and money of her constituents. Hey Liz, you remember them, the people that voted for you.

Where’s “Doug”: An emu named MeeMoo is home safe after escaping and leading a Tennessee community on an exciting 20-mile chase on Wednesday. MeeMoo the emu became frightened of logging behind his house, so he jumped a seven-foot fence and escaped, his owner, Harry McKinney, said.