Light Friday Motes

Did you know this is “Fat Bear Week”?: Me neither. For humans, staying warm in the winter often means swapping out flimsy tank-tops for thick parkas. For Alaskan bears, it means eating a jaw-dropping 500lb (225 kg) of fresh salmon. These bulking creatures are the focal point of Fat Bear Week – a highly anticipated online bracket that pits the portly mammals at Alaska’s Katmai National Park against one another, with voters crowning the fattest of them all. The competition is stiff this year: Otis, a large adult bear with the record for most Fat Bear Week wins at four, is back to defend his title. He once ate 42 salmon in one sitting, and his fishing skills and patience are hard to beat. But Bear 747, winner of Fat Bear Week 2020, might give Otis a run for his money. He is one of the largest bears on earth, weighing as much as 1,400lb (635kg). Most bears know they can’t compete with him. The winner of Fat Bear Week 2022 remains to be seen. Voting is open until 11 October – Fat Bear Tuesday – when the champion will be crowned. I’m backing Otis.

Stay off the ‘net: In what might be the worst of blind dates, a 21-year-old Colorado man is recovering from a Tinder date gone awry. The unnamed victim was found naked and bleeding in the parking lot of an apartment complex where his 22-year-old date, allegedly performed oral sex on him before binding his wrists and ankles with duct tape, and cutting him with a sharp knife. In the midst of all this, she then ordered food from DoorDash. “Tinder date gone awry.” That sounds like a bad dinner or crummy movie. This sounds more like a “psycho chick with a sharp knife” kind of bad date.

I can see a whole new world of mems: French basketball player Steeve Ho You Fat. That is that man’s name. Steeve Ho You Fat, 34, was born in Cayenne, French Guiana, and has been a professional basketball player for French teams since 2008. The first mems will probably along the line of “I NEED A HO YOU FAT JERSEY NOW!” . Can’t wait for someone to yell that out in the middle of a sports bar.

Really freakin’ cringe worthy: Last night I saw an add for Tudor Dixon who is running against Gretchen Whitmer. A supposed group of “bikers” standing around discussing politics and government. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but not one “F” bomb from the men, or the women. That’s just freakin’ hard to believe.

Going home to Hilo this weekend. Continue prepping for the retirement move and stuff. Enjoy your weekend.

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