Saturday Story

Mongo and Napoleon

People love their dogs. I’ve seen a few guys that have padded the gas tanks of their bike so their dog can ride with them. Even a few riders that have gotten WW1 type pilot helmets and goggles that are made specifically for dogs.

Now these dogs have to be pretty brave to trust their owner and ride on a motorcycle at any speed.

However the bravest animal I ever met was Spiders dog, Napoleon.

Napoleon wasn’t a very big dog, but he was absolutely fearless, and had a long memory.

The first time we had a party at Spider’s house, Napoleon was a bit confused with all the bikes and strange people around but he tried to cope. One member just wouldn’t let him alone, and that was Mongo. Mongo messed with that poor dog all night.

Mongo was named after the character played by Alex Karras in Blazing Saddles, you know, the guy that punches out the horse. Our Mongo was that big. He had huge arms and was a career Navy fireman. Basically a very gentle guy but he could be a little bit of a dickhead at times. So it was that night. Poor Napoleon couldn’t seem to escape Mongo’s attention.

It was at another party at Spiders that Napoleon showed his mettle. The usual suspects were there; Sideshow Rob, Socrates, Bisket, Joker, Mikey, and of course Mongo.

We were all standing in the driveway, smoking and joking and Mongo was telling a joke. Mongo could not tell a joke, he was horrible at it, but he was our brother so we stood and listened. It was when I looked down I really started to smile. As Mongo was concentrating on his joke, I started nudging the other guys and looking downward got them to look also.

Mongo always wore engineer type boots, and always tucked his trouser legs into the boots. There was Napoleon, standing next to Mongo, with his little left hind doggy leg raised as he pissed into Mongo’s boot. While Mongo was wearing it.

We’re all trying not to break up and hoping Mongo gets to the punch line real soon. And as soon as he does we all start laughing our butts off. Mongo thinks he has finally told a good joke when he looks down to see Nappy just finishing his business.

Mongo went bananas. Hopping around on one leg, trying to pull his boot off without stepping down, and trying to kick Napoleon all the same time. He failed all three and ended on his butt in the middle of the driveway and Napoleon had disappeared.

As we were all laughing our butts off, Spider reminded Mongo of how he had tormented Napoleon that first night. He also reminded Mongo “payback is a bitch”. Even Mongo had to admit it was a good payback, besides nobody would ever believe a little “mutt” like Napoleon would piss on the mighty Mongo.

Yeah Mongo, you keep on believing that.