Tuesday On The Banks Of The Mote

Brit Love (Head) Line: “I’ve been having hot car sex with a girl half my age. Can it last?” How old is the car?

Coronavirus question: If NBA is canceled, MLB spring training is canceled, NASCAR running without crowds and the NHL is suspended; what the hell am I going to a bar for?

Perspective: So far, there have been 67 (at the time I write this) American citizens die from the Coronavirus. Last year, 6,139 American Veterans committed suicide, about 16 per day. Maybe we ought to throw a couple of million to “fight” that.

Bat soup :
It’s been claimed that someone, somewhere, was eating “bat soup” causing the coronavirus. Well, I have an idea about using bats to prevent the spread. You get a nice strong baseball bat and use it to keep people at least one swing away. Then you don’t risk getting exposed.

The question to ask: If you get the opportunity to speak to a candidate, any candidate, there really is only one question to ask, and their answer will tell you if they have any idea about what life is really like. Ask them “What is the price of a loaf of bread?” They might know about a gallon of gas, that’s national, but if they don’t know what you pay for a loaf of bread, they don’t know what your life is like. Period.

Special “sick” benefit: Pornhub has announced that Italians who are self, or otherwise, quarantined, will receive the Pornhub Premium Access free for the duration of the coronavirus pandemic. I’ve often been told I am a “sick person” but somehow I don’t think that’s what they mean.

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK’S DAY

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