Tuesday Terrific Motes

There’s a market someplace: Chinese custom’s authorities have recently seized a 12 ton shipment of Beaver “penis’” in transit. They claim between 400,000 and 600,000 animals were killed to provide the “merchandise”. I’ll bet you can’t guess what they were going to be used for, that’s right, “beaver penises are used in traditional Chinese medicine to cure erectile dysfunction and increase sexual vigor”. Many years ago, Lake Wilson was covered with a freshwater plant that covered the entire lake and was killing the fish. We started a rumor that the plant, when dried and used in a tea, was a cure for “e d”. The lake was cleared in 3 days. (Not really.) Is there anything that isn’t used in “traditional Chinese medicine” for “that”? (Dave Barry)

Judge by their actions: Well, we only have 12 years left before we run out of everything. The ice caps will melt, and the polar bears will die. The forests will burn, and the people will starve to death. If all this is true, why do these soothsayers still go to work, go to class, or (shudder) get married? Because even they don’t “believe” what the claim. Some even claim they won’t have children because the “end is near”. But really, do we want them having kids? Uh, no.

Love (Head)Line
: “I slept with 10 men in one night at a swingers club.” Sweetie, if you had sex with 10 men in one night, it sounds like you didn’t “sleep” with anyone, you just had sex. If this was a private residence, it lends a whole new meaning to love thy neighbor. But seriously, you need help. Bouncing from bed to bed, partner to partner is no way to find happiness. I spent a whole lot of my life chasing my dix around, but I didn’t find happy till I found “her”.

Her hits just keep coming: Lately Mazie has been just dropping some great clues as to how she has “representing” the people of Hawaii for the past 39 years. Her response to the Senates vote last week was that she did not “care” about the “legal” and “constitutional defenses” that President Donald Trump’s legal defense used during his Senate impeachment trial. Now that reveals how she feels about “truth, justice, and the American way.”

I don’t usually promote “Go Fund Me” . My Big Island friend and good neighbor Neal Peterson has been diagnosed with CMML, Chronic Myelomonocytic Leukemia. It is a rare but treatable cancer, but treatment is in Seattle. Neal is a good neighbor, always willing to help or just talk story. He is a martial arts instructor of some renounce and has shared his knowledge and secrets to many young people. He even taught me a couple of things. So if you can spare a few bucks, drop by https://gf.me/u/xat4uv and leave something.

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