A Safe Place

While taking a day off, I happened to be flipping the channels on the boob tube. I turned onto the “Fat Broad That Knows Everything” show. There sat four or five “men” dressed in diapers, footy pajama’s, and baby bonnets. One of these dumb schmucks was sucking on a giant sized baby bottle. There was a hatchet faced woman in a nurse’s uniform who was “mommy”. These “men” were “getting in touch with their inner child”.

Then I caught the “New York Hebrican” reporter whio was sitting with a group of young “men” dressed like movie Indians. They were sitting around a make-believe campfire and talking about how the sat and talked and got in touch with their “lost manhood”. This would enable them to become “stronger, more sensitive men”.

While these “men” (and I will continue to use quotes for these people) are getting in touch with their inner child and becoming stronger and  more sensitive, the government is busy taking away their rights, one by one. The pack of clowns these guys elect has Washington buying $900 toilet seats and getting each other out of trouble, while they are getting in touch with themselves.

I don’t know every biker or vet, but the ones I do know don’t have any need to dress up like a “baby” or an “Indian”. In fact, I’ve known more than a few Native American’s and none of them have any need to sit around a camp fire to get in touch with their “inner feelings”.

Hauling ass down an open road with the wind in my face and the feel of good solid American Iron under my butt is ALL I need to get in touch.

My ol’ Lady loves me as I am and sure as hell doesn’t want to be my “mommy”.

To those out there getting in touch with your inner child or becoming stronger and more sensitive, stay the hell out of my way and my life. Quit making the world a safe place for me. I like the world as it is, tough, full of challenge, and decidedly unsafe.


I sent this to Outlaw Biker magazine in 1993. They printed it in June of that year. Funny, 25 years later everything is still the same. Nothing changes.

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